We live in a society that doesn't want to even address this issue. Erin Merryn is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, An Unimaginable Act, Bailey No Ordinary Cat, and The Diary of a Cat Named Carrot. Erin endured the abuse from age 6 to 8 and from 11 to 13 and felt the long-lasting effects of her guilt, shame and loss of innocence. Through her personal diary, written during the years of her abuse, Erin shares her journey through pain and confusion to inner strength and, ultimately, forgiveness. In 2009 Texas passed a similar law but it was only a task force which did not mandate students be taught personal body safety, making Illinois the first state to require personal body safety education by law. I can remember that as if it happened yesterday. In 2013, Governor Quinn signed it into law requiring Illinois schools to teach it every single year. Check out pictures, bibliography, and biography of Erin Merryn Stolen Innocencewas published soon after. The path to justice for survivors of sexual assault is not an easy road. Merryn spoke to members of the Ohio Senate Primary and Secondary Education Committee of how she was sexually abused as a child. But her parents thought it was because of health problems she was having at the time. In her diary Erin Merryn reveals how her life was transformed one night when, as an eleven-year-old, she was sexually abused in her grandparents condo by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. "Erin Merryn's Law," a bill that will create a task force to study child sexual abuse in West Virginia, passed the state Senate unanimously on Monday. As for Merryn, today shes married, the mother of an almost 2 year old, and expecting her second child in eight weeks. Merryn travels the country bearing witness to what happened to her in hopes of encouraging states to enact laws requiring sexual abuse education in schools. 2023, Charter Communications, all rights reserved. Chris Newlin - National Children's Advocacy Center But at age 11, Merryn's second nightmare began. I just figured I told my mom, and I never had to talk about this again. Should someone have known something was wrong sooner? At first, it happened when she was babysitting her younger cousins and their older brother would arrive home before their mother. People would be amazed how many people this really does affect and that they know but have never come forward. I remember being so utterly confused.. Victims of abuse know their perpetrators 80% to 90% of the time, says David Finkelhor, director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire. He threatened her to stay silent so she kept her secrets locked away in her childhood diary. And it was at her house the very first overnight that I woke up to her uncle who lived in the home sexually abusing me, said Merryn. Bucco introduced Erins Law (S-2145) on May 2. It was a detailed account of how an officer came to her school to talk about stranger danger. But at age 11, Merryn's second nightmare began. A therapist urged her to get her anger out on paper by writing her cousin a letter detailing how she felt, and after she wrote it, she was to rip it up, burn it or otherwise throw it away. She kept quiet, but behavior problems soon followed. My question to hotel or motel management would be, Why not tell? According to the Office of the Monmouth County Prosecutors website, the only time that Megans Law information will be released to parents or families of students is if the school receives a Tier III high risk notice concerning an offender living within a 1,000-foot radius of their location. Learn More. Sexually abused as a. Alaska Dispatch: When you broke your silence and spoke up, was it frightening? After an evening of playing with Ashley's dollhouse and watching The Little Mermaid, the girls went to bed in Ashley's room. Erin, now a 33-year-old wife and mother of two with one on the way, has spent the last eight years travelling to every state advocating for abused children. It was so brutal I thought I was dying, Merryn, Glamour magazines 2012 Woman of the Year, recalled in an interview with the Asbury Park Press. I will fight alongside Erin and the advocates right here in our community until the day that this lifesaving legislation finally becomes law.. (See Gary Glitter's sex scandal.). Erin Merryn is the author of three books about surviving incest, including "Living for Today." She also speaks nationally on the subject. Erin has been traveling state to state testifying to lawmakers to pass Erin's law for 7 years. As the abuse continued, and as she was forced to see her abuser over and over again in social situations, she struggled with . The words of my cousin began haunting me. "(It) brings me back to remembering being six-years-old being abused. What if their family is pressuring them to just keep quiet and get on with their life? She wanted him to know how much his actions had affected her life. Because so often, people that are being abused do not report it until theyre in their 30s, 40s and 50s cause nobody ever gave them the message onhow tospeak up and tell, Merryn said. The next day they told their parents. House Bill 105 overwhelminglypassed the Ohio Housea year ago. As I often tell people, our innocence was stolen, (our) trust taken, but the one thing we can reclaim as survivors is our voices. We live in a society that keeps it hushed and (there is) so much taboo around it; people are afraid to speak up and say this happened to them. However, she said theabuseand rape continueduntil she was almost nine. But many schools, she said, are using faculty social workers and psychologists because research shows its better taught by in-house staff then outside agencies. When Merryn eventually confided in Ashley about what had happened, her friend was not surprised; in fact, the scene was depressingly familiar to her. A judge did sentenced her cousin to probation and counseling. By breaking your silence you are reclaiming your voice. After describing the difference between the truth and a lie I was asked if I agreed to tell the truth that day. I remember immediately after answering the interviewer I said "That's the reason I didn't tell before, I kept it to myself because I thought no one would believe me." MORE: Cancer-surviving mom stays strong for her son. Erin Merryn, survivor of sexual abuse as a child and the driving force behind Erin's Law, speaks to an auditorium full of students at Metamora Township High School last Monday, March 12. Erin Merryn (born February 2, 1985) is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. Visit sheriffalerts.com to find out if there are sex offenders in your area. The legislation, "Erin Merryn's Law," (S.6182 Klein/ A.8993 Dinowitz), would require schools to make a change to their . This representative did get on her mic. Choosing to forgive has led me to live for today. (Read why most child abuse goes unreported). I finally got, after seven months, what I had been looking for: an apology. But nobody asked those important questions. Mar 22, 2018 Erin Merryn, survivor of sexual abuse as a child and the driving force behind Erin's Law, speaks to an auditorium full of students at Metamora Township High School last Monday, March 12. She is the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety on the prevention of child sexual ab Merryn says a few months ago, a local . You will eventually hear about this law being passed in all 50 states, and I plan on one day taking it and making it international, said Erin. Erins ongoing abuse with her friends uncle was over. Now, thanks to state Sen. Anthony R. Bucco, children of the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope. But instead of telling everyone to vote against it, she told everyone to vote in support of this bill. [3], "I was not educated on not keeping secrets if someone was hurting me. The voice that was silenced for so long. Who were they? She is an activist against child sexual abuse as well as the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety in order to prevent child sexual abuse. Her name is Erin Merryn and she is the founder of Erins Law. Pat Quinn on Thursday signed a new law extending sexual abuse education in Illinois schools. At age 11, Erin fell victim again. Eleven states have passed the legislation. Erin Merryn is an author, activist, speaker, wife, and mom to young human children and a fur baby named Bailey. Walking up to a door with so many racing thoughts afraid I was not going to be believed, wondering what I was going to be asked, and so ashamed to even think about sharing the dirty secrets. 35. For so many years I stayed angry and bitter towards him. What are the most persistent knowledge gaps? On this Wikipedia the language links are at the top of the page across from the article title. After Bailey's passing, she adopted a kitten named Carrot. Merryn now. I will come get you, I know where you live, Erin recalled. When I was six years old, I was sexually abused at a neighbor's house. So before CAC's a child brought to a police station could be filled with anxiety and fear that they are in trouble. It was just the beginning of a long journey. Alaska Dispatch: Let's talk about two words we hear a lot when covering sexual abuse stories: victim and survivor. And it was at her house the very first overnight that I woke up to her uncle who lived in the home sexually abusing me," said Merryn. Realizing I was not a fault and learning to let go of the guilt. The founder of Erin's Law. Putting the lives of children in danger and possibly taking their innocence is worth it? She knew exactly what she was doing by asking simple questions on my life, friends, what I did for fun, and my family. The case never went to trial, and Brian received some counseling, but no punishment. Erin wrote that letter. The only difference is now I am running from him in my dreams" (Merryn 49). A safe touch could be a high five or hug and an unsafe touch is someone touching you in the areas covered by your swimsuit, or your private parts, Merryn said. He was free, but the rage inside Erin remained. The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County, Ill. (there are 900 of these centers across America in every state), helped give me the courage in my forensic interview after my sister and I broke our silence to tell what had happened. These days hes almost 9 and I dont really tag along to play dates anymore, but every time I drop him off, I tell him, if you have to use the bathroom, lock the door and have privacy. Erins Law is a tax-exempt 501(c)(4) non-profit organization. Sorry, there are no recent results for popular videos. She broke down and cried and said Erin's Law could have saved her as a child, but instead she only got the message from her abuser, who she knew, and stayed silent. Senator Gillibrand on the federal version of Erin's Law to give federal funding to the law, and in December 2015 President Obama signed the federal version of Erin's Law under the Every Student Succeeds Act. Do I know the difference between the truth and a lie? Now I have somebody I love and trust abusing me," Merryn said. Merryn suffered sexual abuse by a male neighbor at ages six to eight[2] and by a teenage cousin at ages 11 to 13. Immediately I thought I was being asked this question because she already did not believe me. That is just (in) America. 46 reviews. Erin Merryn's memoir is about how her life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted."I thought when the abuse stopped I could move on with my life. Jill Burke is a former writer and columnist for Alaska Dispatch News. See her personal website at ErinMerryn.net. The abuse continued and Erin struggled with the secret that hung over her, a secret that eventually destroyed a family and took Erin's innocence. Oh and of course my cousin's voice echoing through my head "No one will believe you, you have no proof, you will destroy this family, this is our secret!" In Living for Today, readers find that Erin cultivated the strength to face her abuser . This law requires personal body safety taught to children Pre-K to 12th grade through an age appropriate curriculum. Merryn travels the country advocating for children who are victims of sexual assault. Merryn now had a duty as a big sister to protect her younger sibling. Erin Merryn speaks with enthusiasm, rattling off the list of trips around the globe, the hours of research and meetings promoting her cause. Seconds later his hand was down her pants. Merryn says starting when she was six, she was sexually abused by a neighbor, then at 11 by an older cousin. They talked for hours about what had happened, and the next day told their parents about their shared horror. Families pressuring loved ones to stay quiet is not uncommon, but as I often like to tell survivors, by speaking up you are not only helping yourself heal; you will help save other children from experiencing this same horror at the hands of their abuser. Sexually abused and raped from age 6-8 by an adult neighbor Erin was threatened to stay silent by her abuser. Merryn: I cover these two words in my second book, "Living for Today." Bad things happen to children all the time, the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope, Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. Merryn found her voice at 13 when her younger sister said the words she'll never forget: "Brian's gross!" It turned out cousin Brian was abusing Merryn's little sister, too. When people ask how I have overcome all that I have and doing what I am doing now, passing Erin's Law in 11 states, 26 introducing it and going to each capital to testify on it, I tell them all of this comes from our creator. And a third girl I know was also abused by him. Merryn realized he had been molesting her sister too. My parents believed me and my cousin Brian confessed to the police, she said. Eventually, her parents and sisters moved to another town, closer to family. How and when did you do it first? Merryn: Yes. From the time my son Jack was around 3, I began having the private parts talk with him. (Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images) Victims are those who don't survive. That happened until I was 13. Merryn, then 6, was excited about her first sleepover with her kindergarten classmate Ashley. Named by PEOPLE Magazine a HEROES Among us and one of fifteen women changing the world. Have there been times in your life when haven't done well? The more I shared the more I felt heard like I was lifting this burden off me and by the way the forensic interviewer was talking to me and encouraged me she gave me the message she believed me. I was abused. Here's a glimpse of her life and why she's on a quest for social change. Erins Law encourages research based curriculum, Merryn said. 7Erin Merryn is a Woman of the Year because"She's taken her personal crusade and turned it into a public one. Did you ever wonder, or ever ask him, why he did what he did? What factors came together for you to be able to not only overcome what happened, but to also thrive? Erin is a mom to three little girls. High near 60F. Usually, the abuse isnt at the hands of a stranger, rather someone they know and trust. Erin Merryn is author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. Erin's Law, which debuted in Illinois, is now in 37 states and mandates that public schools teach age-appropriate sex abuse prevention to grades as young as pre-K. Merryn said those lessons on . The Church Sex Abuse Scandals Around the World, Child-Abuse Case Reveals Vietnam's Lax Social Services, (Read why most child abuse goes unreported). Unfortunately for many survivors they never see their perpetrators held accountable. It was taught every year, and when a creepy van pulled up when I was 12 having a lemonade and the man put his hand out the window asking me to take the change those lessons immediately played back in my mind. The place Erin reclaimed her voice and began her journey to healing. It was the first time she supported a school mandate, and she retired later that year. [3], She graduated from Schaumburg High School in 2004[4] and earned a Bachelor of Social Work from Western Illinois University in 2008. Thats precisely why she does what she does. For the next hour I relived as much as I was capable of sharing and just kept finding myself focusing on the large mirror having no clue their was a detective on the other side listening to my entire story and am very glad I did not know. 4 mos. She has now dedicated her life to protecting our nations children. "I just stared at the ceiling waiting for it to end." Winds WNW at 10 to 15 mph.. She began to think about all the other prevention classes and drills she learned in school: how to say no to drugs, what to do in case of a fire, what to do in case of a tornado, how to never answer the door if parents arent home. Erins Law soon caught on nationwide. 2022 Anchorage Daily News. But nothing prepared her for two traumatizing events that have turned Merryn, now 25, into an activist, determined to prevent the same thing from happening to other children. Buccos bill requires all school districts to incorporate age-appropriate sexual abuse awareness and prevention education in grades preschool through 12 as part of Core Curriculum Content Standards in Comprehensive Health and Physical Education. It was the first federal bill passed funding sexual abuse prevention education. At age 17, she attempted suicide. Visiting Alaska this week, Erin Merryn is a long way from home, and even farther from the torturous past she endured as a sexually abused child. "It's something that is going to be with me the rest of my life," Erin said. You didn't just tell one person. This fundraiser is organized by Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation (Caase). I also learned in group how to create a safe place to escape to when memories flooded my memory.While I was not ready at thirteen and fourteen to immediately share the journey of what all I went through because I was still too ashamed the Children's Advocacy Center laid the foundation in my healing to one day let that voice be heard. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Merryn successfully passed it in her state of Illinois in 2013 and has been traveling from one state capital to another testifying to state lawmakers to . A week later, she got a reply. Erin has appeared in People Magazine, Glamour Magazine, Time Magazine, The New York Times, Time Magazine, New York Post, The London Times, USA Today, Chicago Tribune, Daily Herald, among others. The first episode began on a warm May night in 1991. Her dad had to sit down and have a tough conversation with his sister, and denial followed. I am so confident I will get this law passed in all 50 states, because God has already told me it will happen. Merryn (whose other books are Stolen Innocence and Living for Today), the mother of a toddler girl, says this is a conversation parents must have every year and often. She was honored for her efforts in 2012 as one of Glamour Magazines 2012 Women of the Year. Again, she was told to keep quiet, that no one would believe her if she said anything and that she had no proof. I wish I could say that Erins story is uncommon, but that is far from the truth its happening right here in our own backyard, Bucco said. Teaching kids the differences between safe and unsafe touch, safe and unsafe secrets, how to report this to a safe adult and to keep reporting it if your abuse does not end, said Merryn. (2013) CNN Newsroom Self - Child Abuse Survivor. Nightmares and flashbacks continued, and she started harming herself. Merryn: I have witnessed some lawmakers come in voting against the bill who got on their mic after hearing me testify and (told) me they had all planned to vote against this bill and that my testimony changed their mind. They never came, so I stayed silent. Has anything particularly heartened you? To a child who has been told so many threats to stay silent the idea of being taken to a police station can often scare a child. I had only ever been told no one (would) believe me, I feared ruining our large extended family when they learned a family member (teenage cousin) was molesting my sister and I. Sixteen years ago, on March 29, 1998, my sister broke her silence to me. Merryn: Many don't realize that there are 42 million survivors in America of child sexual abuse. If you tell anybody, you will destroy our family, she said.. Why is it so difficult to talk about? Two years later, though,whenErin was 11, she said her older teenage cousin started abusing her too. Through her speeches and books, Erin is an inspiration to professionals working daily to fight child abuse. Visit Amazon.au's Erin Merryn Page and shop for all Erin Merryn books. Alaska Dispatch: You were preyed upon not once, but twice (two different abusers during different stages of childhood). Erin Merryn's memoir is about how her life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted."I thought when the abuse stopped I could move on with my life. After graduating with Bachelors and Masters Degrees in social work from Western Illinois and Aurora Universities in 2008 and 2009, Health Communications published her second book, Living for Today: From Incest and Molestation to Fearlessness and Forgiveness. It is currently passed in 37 states as of January 2021. Merryn: I didn't expect a response back from my cousin because my letter was very harsh filled with so much anger and rage. In a Q&A with Alaska Dispatch before boarding her flight north, Merryn wasn't shy about sharing the difficulties she's experienced, including a suicide attempt, or the one thing that happened to make her finally tell someone she was being hurt. Alaska Dispatch: Do you think most lawmakers meaningfully comprehend the issue of sexual abuse? Forgiving him did not mean what he did was right, she stressed. The bill had already passed the House . I had all the warning signs of an abused kid -- labeled behavior(ally) and emotionally disturbed, given an IEP (Individual Education Plan) for that behavior, I had anger problems, put my hand through a window weeks after being raped at 7 years old and threw tantrums on the floors in school. One day, a particular entry she wrote caught her eye. Her older cousin sexually abused her from 11-13 years old. The yearly videos had educated me, so I knew to tell the stranger to keep his change. It ended only after a chance conversation between Merryn and one of her sisters, who blurted out one day that their cousin Brian was "gross." Children learn all kinds of safety lessons in schools, like how to deal with natural disasters, fires and strangers. She is an activist against child sexual abuse. Well, something shocking happened. It allowed me to let go of the bitterness, anger and rage I had toward him and find the freedom and peace I longed for and the ability to turn this painful event into something positive. According to Merryn, every school gets the option to pick a Erins Law program, and have an outside agency teach. Little did I know by moving I was getting that much closer to my next abuser. He'd conditioned and kept me silent for two years, so he knew he could get away with that behavior, even with so many people around. There is a misconception about this issue many people think sexual abuse only happens to the poor, to people who come from broken homes, etc. Before . Alaska Dispatch: Resiliency can be an important factor in how well survivors of abuse cope and in whether they go on to lead a healthy, happy life. Two days later, their cousin was brought into the police station. ThediaryIkept my secrets locked away in, where I lost my innocence, I turned into a book mysenior year of high school called Stolen Innocence, because thats whathappened to me, Merryn said. Gov. Two against one, somebody had to believe us.. He continued to abuse her on and off for nearly two years, she says, often at holidays and celebrations with her close-knit extended family. Here's How We Amplify It | National Children's Alliance", "Erin Merryn Fights for Law to Help Child Sexual Assault Victims", "Erin's Law: When the Abuser Is No Stranger", "State Senate Passes Erin Merryn's Law Aimed at Child Sex Abuse Prevention", "Survivor Recalls Alleged Incest in Book", "Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Gets Law Passed", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Erin_Merryn&oldid=1132623568, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 9 January 2023, at 19:15. Children must be taught to tell a trusted adult if anyone touches their private parts. The ability to forgive both my abusers set me free and gave me my voice back and the strength to speak out for others. The cousin used the same tactic as her first abuser telling her no one would believe her and there was no proof. [5] Carrot has 281,000 instagram followers. I tell parents the best way to talk to kids about this is through the swimsuit lesson, Merryn said. I sat next to a woman who I had just met moments earlier in the waiting room with my sister and mom. (2016) Consider This Self - Author and Children's Advocate. He got us quiet and continued to get away with it. Merryn worked with U.S. Alaska Dispatch: Would something like what you are proposing -- Erin's Law -- have helped you? Erin also included the correspondence between her cousin and herself, for readers to also hear the perpetrator's side. Are you afraid you will lose business? 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